The wondertank

This guy has to be seen to be believed. I’m not going to be mentioning his name (although I’ve made a note of it so I never group with him ever again if I can at all help it), but here’s a quick sample:

  • Constantly taunted the wrong things during trash (four adds safely on me, two adds munching on a DPS, he taunts off me rather than off a DPS).
  • Wiped us on trash several times by pulling carelessly (waiting for patrols to go away and waiting for the entire raid to be present, what’s that?).
  • Spam-taunted Thorim so much he went taunt immune (for no reason whatsoever).
  • Taunted adds off me during Freya while we were doing Deforestation (I was meant to be holding them away from the raid).
  • Taunted the one lone Assault Bot we were meant to be keeping alive for Not-So-Friendly Fire, while there were plenty of other things alive and munching on random people.
  • Generated an average of 5-6k TPS even when tanking bosses (no, I’m not kidding, and no, I have no idea how).
  • Seemed to only be half-listening to tactics (on Yogg-Saron for They’re Coming Out of the Walls: “Ok, Aeliel tank the first few adds on the purple raid marker, [other guy] tank the rest, also on the purple raid marker” – and we had to yell at him for what felt like a full minute to move to me with his pack of adds so we could AoE the lot down).
  • Generally displayed cluelessness and incredibly slow reactions (at one point it took two full minutes to get him to understand that we were talking to him on Vent, and no, he wasn’t AFK, he was jumping around).
  • Managed to go insane on 4-keeper Yogg-Saron, while staying on the outside. Standing in the big green sanity beams is hard.
  • Stood there and just twiddled his thumbs inside the brain room (together with another DPS) with the raid leader yelling at them very loudly in Vent to kill the tentacles. (We only put him there because he needed the achievement.)
  • Have I mentioned he’s tanking in partial DPS gear with some welfare PVP epics? I know uncrittability comes from talents these days, but this guy’s wearing items gemmed and enchanted for DPS.

We got the vast majority of what we came for (with the exception of missing the Bomb Bot part of Set Up Us The Bomb), but bloody hell.

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